Controller: Joystick

This one-on-one basketball duel is a flawed but entertaining take on the sport.

This is about as rudimentary of a basketball game as you can get while still being able to classify it as basketball. Forget set plays, teammates, three pointers, fouls, free throws, crowds, timeouts, and pretty much everything that makes basketball what it is. Instead all you get is a ball, a court, and a single opponent.

When you start the ball is tossed in the air and it’s a mad scramble to pick it up. If you end up with it the only thing left to do is make a beeline to the goal and fire up a shot. Normally you would line up your player and execute a perfectly timed press and release of the button to launch an arcing shot that will hit nothing but the bottom of the net. Here however you are better off running directly under the basket and tapping the button, which will cause the ball to bounce off the post, fly straight up through the hoop and gracefully fall back through for two points. While it doesn’t exactly capture the realism of the game, it is an effective way to score.

The downside to the easy scoring is that the computer can do the same thing. To make that more of a problem the computer can also hit shots from pretty much anywhere on the court at any time, which means if you want to win the game you are going to have to play some defense. This is accomplished by getting on the other side of the ball the computer is dribbling, which gives you a fifty-fifty chance of a steal. If you time it right you will be on your way to a fast break through the hoop layup, and if you don’t you’ll watch helplessly as the computer puts another two points on you.

The game lasts for four minutes and stops as soon as the timer hits zero (meaning no half court heaves to win the game). While this is an overly simplistic version of basketball it can be forgiven since this is one of the earliest 2600 games.

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This movie based shooter is one of the finest, most challenging titles around.

Join the battle of Hoth in your Snowspeeder as a fleet of the Empire’s AT-AT Walkers march in unison towards your rebel base. While the Empire can never truly be defeated, you can hold them off long enough for your comrades in arms to escape. The game begins with your Snowspeeder sitting on the icy tundra, theechoing march of the AT-AT Walkers echoing in the distance. As you take off and speed towards them, you can check your radar to see just how close you are to the lead one. As you engage it in combat, it will take forty-eight hits to bring it down, or one precise strike to a randomized weak point that reveals itself from time to time. If you manage to defeat the first one, move quickly to the second one before
more are on the way. Battling the mechanical beasts can be a chore given how much armor they have, but thankfully you can fly right through them (at least on most gameplay options). Be aware though that their shots can travel through their body as well, so just because you are behind them doesn’t mean you are safe.

As you take damage your ship will begin to change colors, turning a bright yellow just before you explode. When this happens simply fly out of harm’s way and land on the ice below for some temporary repairs that regain a notch of health. If you manage to stay in the fight for two solid minutes with a single Snowspeeder, the Force will
overtake you, giving you twenty seconds of invincibility to go along with the Star Wars theme. There are numerous difficulty settings, mostly controlling how fast theWalkers move towards your base. You can also pick whether or not you want solid = walkers (meaning if you try and fly through them you’l die) and if you want them to have smart bombs. These are littledevices that are released and will pursue you until your demise. This game is simply a joy to play. The controls are tight, the music is spot on, and the gameplay really makes you feel like you’re taking part in one of the most famous movie battles of all time. you are a fan of the movies or shooters, this should be high up on your list.

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On the face of things, Swordquest looked like the idea that couldn’t miss. It had elements that had never been done before in videogames, but that had the recipe for success that had worked time and again in other mediums in the form of continuity, depth and tie-ins.

In terms of continuity, each game was a sequel to the other, with a different theme. Taking the tried-and-true formula of a quest that had worked for stories since men had sat around fires and told tales to entertain each other and educate the next generation, the title Swordquest evoked memories of brave knights, magical swords, slain dragons, beautiful princesses  and heroic finishes. Each game was linked by theme to one of the four elements of ancient Greece- Earth, Fire, Water and Air. Such a progression marked in each gamer’s mind the promise of an amazing, four-part story, each one linked to the next by a victory in the previous game, each new game building upon the previous one until an incredible conclusion, the kind that would make up for a series of disappointing movie/tv show tie-in games that often became $50 plastic paperweights after they’d been purchased.

In terms of depth, until then too many titles demanded blasting wave after wave of aliens and monsters whose motives where inscrutable and never discussed. Gameplay happened in a tiny field with a humble cursor-hero whose backstory [if mentioned at all] could fit into a pixel-sized thimble. Swordquest promised gamers a world of depth and story in the games that promised to rival the books and shows that had become so beloved in American pop culture by that point. Star Wars, Excalibur, Conan the Barbarian and the quasi-pantheon of Dc and Marvel comics got us used to the notion of worlds and characters behind the games and stories we loved. Here, Atari tapped the Greek myths, stories that had enthralled man for over thirty centuries, and their upcoming games were labelled as whole worlds made of these four, primal elements. Earthworld, Fireworld, and so on. Hearing these titles, teenage gamers who had been weaned on the single cursor bouncing around in the Blue Labyrinth of Robinette’s Adventure or shooting Nazis with one-pixel bullets in Warshaw’s Raiders of the Lost Ark  saw in their mind’s eyes amazing new worlds to conquer in their 4k Atari consoles. Puzzles, the Atari gamers were told, would need to be solved to properly advance to the next level. After that announcement every fourteen-year old who’d ever played Dungeons and Dragons saw themselves as the one who would be the modern equivalent of Oedipus solving the riddle of the Sphinx in time to win the day.

And the tie-ins were unprecedented in terms of their own depth. Medieval-themed prizes awaited those who could solve the puzzles first. Jewel-encrusted swords, chalices, even the philosopher’s stone [a good quarter century before Harry Potter made the term a household name!] tempted gamers with real-life riches instead of imaged hordes of  virtual ‘gp’s their characters could get in D&D. . ’ The first title, Earthworld, would involve the players traveling through multiple rooms themed after the Greek zodiac, tapping into the 70s craze of the horoscope and birth-signs.  Atari even commissioned DC to produce a clue-laden comic book series drawn by the legendary, late George Perez. The books would span a four-part, sword-and-sorcery saga of twins named Tor and Tarra who would romp through the four worlds in an effort to avenge their parents’ wrongful deaths and ascend to the place of the ghostly, ethereal guides [named Mentor and Mentarra…c’mon, DC! I was maybe 12 and I figured out it was the heroes’ future selves in about ten seconds! Step it up!]. The ads were striking, showing the potential prizes and all their well-lit, pre-photoshop era glory. George Perez even worked the title into other books he was writing for DC; the New Teen Titans, one of Perez’ all-time most popular titles, saw its characters playing a Swordquest video game in that mecca of 80s teen culture, the video arcade. Home-video game author and guru of the 1980s Ken Uston predicted that the game series would “undoubtedly become a SwordQuest cult.” [Uston ]
A built-in market for the product, multiple marketing fronts, and united ‘buzz’ from several respected voices in the industry and target market’s community, and prizes worth tens of thousands of dollars. What could possibly go wrong?

Turned out: Just about everything.

Next Time: Atari’s SwordQuest: What Went Wrong? [Part 2: Thy Game Sucks…]

—–

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The joystick is only used to control the ship’s elevation while the buttons provide control for weapons and for reversing the ship’s direction. One button is used to activate a “smart bomb,” capable of destroying all enemies in view, while another button activates the hyperspace function, a feature that may save or doom you (something similar to what happens in Asteroids).

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Because of the lack of historical evidence, at the time of publishing this article, we consider Billie Sue of “Wabbit” to be the first playable female character in the history of video games.

Billie who? Billie Sue!

She was a fearless farmer who had to protect her carrots by throwing eggs at carrot-stealing rabbits. She was a protagonist of the arcade game “Wabbit”, developed by Apollo for Atari 2600/VCS. Billie Sue was the first to have her own name and clear motivation, and her sprite was distinctive, nuanced and detailed. She had black hair, black eyes, an orange shirt with white sleeves, a blue skirt and black shoes.

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“Wabbit’s” setting was a carrot field, with rabbit holes on each side and a house in the background.  Billie Sue was the only character in the game, save for her rabbit antagonist. We can deduce from this evidence that Billie Sue probably owned the farm where the game was taking place, and she probably lived alone, which also meant taking care of problems all on her own. According to Video Game History Foundation, “Wabbit’s” target audience were girl gamers[1], which indicates two things. First, the female representation in the video game industry is much older than tend to think. Secondly, the game allowed for gamers to “become” Billie Sue, which means it encouraged women’s empowerment. And it all happened ‘back in the day’.

But who even thought of creating Billie Sue? Just like Score, the name of the mind behind it was almost lost to time. Video Game History Foundation’s search for Billie Sue’s creator was long, but after years of effort they finally found her- it was Van Tran.

Van Tran (now Van Mai) is a former Vietnamese refugee in the USA. Neither her status nor the language barrier could stop her genius from showing. Reportedly, her video game ideas were so advanced that the technology for them didn’t exist yet. It was Van Tran’s idea to make a female protagonist, and she developed “Wabbit” single-handedly.

Van Tran and Billie Sue are living proof that women were always an integral part of the video game industry, so why do we today believe differently?

[1] “Pioneer Rediscovered: The Woman Who Brought Female Representation to Games” (2022) Bunch, K, Willaert, K, Video Game History Foundation, https://gamehistory.org/wabbit/

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Controller: Joystick

This is quite possibly the first (and only) example of a video game being based on a television commercial.

You take control of Chuckie the Dog as he gets to live out every 1980’s dog’s dream and chase the chuck wagon. Unlike the TV dog however, it’s relatively easy for Chuckie to catch it.

Rather than start out in the family living room like his TV counterpart, Chuckie begins his quest in the middle of a maze that must be completed in under sixty seconds (thirty if playing on the difficult setting). There are four different stages that consist of mazes that were deemed too easy for the back of kids menus. In fact, the only challenge at all comes from the incredibly narrow entryways that will cause Chuckie to get hung up if he doesn’t hit it just right.

Standing between him and the chuck wagon is the world’s lousiest dog catcher and some random haunted items that float across the screen. The haunted item can be something that resembles a meatball, a severed cat head, a bone, or a rival dog. If it comes into contact with Chuckie he will be frozen for a few seconds, which usually isn’t a big deal unless the trajectory of the item causes it to hit him multiple times, resetting the freeze counter with every hit. This isn’t a huge deal unless the dog catcher is nearby, which is highly unlikely due to him being absolutely terrible at his job.

Apparently good help is hard to find, because there really isn’t any other way to explain how this guy got the job. Instead of actively pursuing Chuckie, the dog catcher randomly moves around the maze. Often times he will pace back and forth down a single corridor, giving the chuck wagon pursuing pooch free reign over the maze. The only time the dog catcher becomes dangerous is when he decides to patrol the lone pathway to the exit.

When you successfully complete the maze you are taken to a bonus level. A bowl of dog food descends from the heavens at a rapid pace, forcing you to press the button when it is parallel to Chuckie. If you hit it just right, you have a happily fed puppy. If you don’t, Chuckie watches helplessly as his dinner falls to the abyss below.

If you want to see a prime example of just how insane the early 1980’s video game landscape was (i.e. a mail order game from a dog food company based on one of its commercials) then you should check this out. If you are looking for a fun game, you should look elsewhere.

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Controller: Joystick

Given that this is one of the earliest 2600 games to be released, it comes as no surprise that Air-Sea Battle is an overly simplistic “shoot everything that moves” game.

Despite the simplicity, there is a fair amount of variety to be found here. There are six different ways for you to blow things up, and several different variations of each game type. Granted the differences are somewhat minor, such as your missiles being guided and there being random objects like blimps getting in the way of your shots. This doesn’t add a lot to the game, but it is a nice change of pace, albeit a small one. The vast majority of the game types put you head to head against a friend, a couple of the games puts the computer in charge of the other gun. Of course the AI is extremely limited, so don’t expect anything more than a constant stream of unaimed shots coming from your opponent.

Each of the six game types play out in the same general way. There is a single screen with theme specific ships moving along a pre-determined path at varying speeds. On the opposite side of the screen you and your opponent are set up to unleash volley after volley to see who can hit the most targets in the time allotted. The game lasts precisely two minutes and sixteen seconds (per the manual), or until someone gets 99 points. And no, I haven’t the foggiest idea why the timer is two minutes and sixteen seconds. That said, let’s look at the different varieties of gameplay.

Anti-Aircraft: You are in control of an Anti-Aircraft gun and must shoot down everything from large planes, small planes and tiny helicopters that are flying above you. In the more advanced game you will have giant blimps flying just above you that soak up shots yet give you no points. You can’t move your AA gun, however it can be aimed at three different angles.

Submarine: You are in control of a Submarine and you must blow up every manner of sea faring vessel. Unlike the AA game, you can move your Sub left and right across your half of the screen. With the guided missile option your shot follows you on your journey across the screen, giving you the opportunity to correct your shot.

Shooting Gallery: This is by far the creepiest gameplay variety, since not only do you have to shoot ducks and bunnies, but occasionally the screen is filled with giant smiley faces. I’m not sure why they are smiling so big, but I’m sure that they will haunt your dreams.

Polaris: You are in a fast moving submarine that is in constant motion at the bottom of the screen. While it is impossible to stop, it is possible to speed up or slow down your ship, giving you the chance to time your shot to hit the aircraft above. Depending on which player you are, your opponent will either be directly above or below you.

Bomber: This is the exact opposite of Polaris, as instead of Subs you are in Bombers flying above.

Polaris vs Bombers: The most interesting of the game types. One player is in a bomber above, while the other player is in a Sub below. Same basic concept, but the only time you get to fire directly at your opponent.

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Controller: Joystick

Strap into the cockpit and take flight to engage in a not so thrilling dogfight against an entire enemy squadron.

Sadly you aren’t just fighting the enemy and a constant barrage of flak coming from anti-aircraft guns, you are also fighting against the stupidest ground crew in the history of warfare.

When you begin you are on the runway and must take off, which sounds simple enough. Your plane automatically gains speed and at the appropriate time you must pull back on the stick to take off. Do it too soon and you crash, which means you can actually get a game over in less than a second if you aren’t careful. Do it too late and you run off the runway. Of course the game gives you no indication of when it is safe to take off, because having that kind of information from your ground crew would make your life way too easy.

Once you crash and burn a few times and finally get the hang of taking off, it’s time to engage the enemy. For the most part they fly in packs of three along the horizon. They don’t actually attack you, rather they appear to just be out for a leisurely Sunday fly. Their flak cannons however can do great damage to you. There isn’t a damage meter or a power bar of any sorts, so you will never know if you are about to be brought down or not. The best bet is to just stay out of the “flak zone” that is marked on your plane’s dashboard.

Now that you are in the air, have a target and know what area of the sky to avoid, it’s time to open fire. Just don’t put the hammer down since you are limited to 99 bullets. This takes a lot of fun out of the game because instead of being able to go crazy with the hot lead, you have to carefully aim and squeeze off short bursts. Granted this is more on the realistic side, but if we wanted realism we would have taken flying lessons and not bought a video game. You also have a fuel gauge that depletes at varying speeds depending on what you do (climbing higher uses more fuel than diving for example). If you start to run low on fuel you must carefully decrease your altitude to zero and wait for the runway to appear. This only happens if you have successfully shot down at least ten enemy planes, since apparently your commanding officer just wants the good pilots to survive.

This brings us to the proof that you have the stupidest ground crew in the history of warfare. When you land they completely refuel your plane, so one would assume that since you are about to take off back into an active war zone they would refill your ammo as well. This would be an incorrect assumption, because they only give you a single bullet for every plane you shot down. This wouldn’t be a huge deal if they added it to your stock, but that’s not the case. For example, if you shot down say, 12 planes and landed with 40 ammo left, you would be taking off again with 12 shots rather than 52. It’s like the ground crew wants you to die.

Between the lack of fight in the enemy, the variety of cheap ways to die and having to deal with rampant ground crew stupidity, there isn’t very much good to be found here.

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Genre: Arcade

Your mission is to infiltrate enemy territory, kill every soldier you find and blow up each of their eight mega fortresses.  Sadly due to recent budget cuts you will have to undertake this mission single handedly.  What sort of supplies will you be getting?  Well given there are thousands of troops standing between you and victory a standard issue machine gun and three hand grenades should be plenty.  If for some reason that is inadequate for you to complete your task I wouldn’t worry, the enemy is very well financed so I’m sure you’ll be able to pick up more grenades along the way.   Good luck!

Each of the eight levels play out in the same way.  You start at the bottom of the screen, usually surrounded by enemy soldiers who already have their fingers on the trigger, and you must make your way to the mega fortress that is way North of your position.  Not only do the soldiers move quickly, but their shots do as well, so if you don’t take them out as soon as they appear it is very easy to get overwhelmed by the onslaught of bullets.  The only other things you really have to worry about are speeding trucks that randomly drive across the battlefield and trenches.  And I don’t mean the soldiers that are in the trenches as they are easily taken out with a grenade, but the trenches themselves.  Despite the fact that you are a hardened soldier that is taking on an entire army without any support, if you step into a trench you die.  I’m going to assume they are booby trapped in some way since I’d like to think a hard nosed military guy could survive a four foot drop.

Once you survive the enemy platoon it’s time to take on the mega fortress, which is done in two steps.  Step one is to do what you have been doing up until this point, killing everyone you come across.  Step two is to simply step inside the building which triggers a massive explosion, which thanks to there being no delay makes it look like you are a suicide bomber.  After a few moments of enjoying the destruction you are sent off to the next level where you are once again set loose upon the enemy.

There are two main problems with the game, the hero and the controls.  Your character is rather large, which poses a problem since everyone in the world is currently shooting at you.  He also isn’t the fleetest of foot, so trying to escape the onslaught typically doesn’t end well.  The other main issue is the controls.  The 2600 controller only has one button, which means if you want to throw a grenade you have to stop firing your machine gun and hold the button down for what seems like an eternity.  As you can imagine that poses a bit of a problem when you are on an active battlefield.

Commando is one of the latest releases on the system, so it comes as no surprise that it is among the most technically advanced games on the 2600.  Of course this came out well after the NES version, making it completely obsolete.  Still, it is worth a look if you are curious as to how far the 2600 could be pushed.

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Publisher: Atari

Step on the links, pick up a club, and play a round of golf like you have never played before.

You will use your 9-iron to pull off backwards shots, use your cleats to kick the ball towards the green, and consider it a victory if you get back to the clubhouse with a swing count under a hundred.

There are nine holes with a total of thirty-six par, with a nice selection of par threes, fours, and fives. When the golfer steps into the tee box, it’s vital that you take a few steps back and do some practice swings. Once there is a basic understanding of how the club moves, it’s time to line up your shot. Since the ball will travel at whatever angle and direction the club hits it, you will have to get creative in order to make it to the green.

On a basic hole the first shot will be pretty standard looking, however after that the only way to make it to the green is to position the golfer below the ball and facing away from the pin, and swing the club above his head to send it in the proper direction. This will continue until the ball reaches the green. Now it’s time to putt, which is done in the same way, only with a little more finesse.

Despite the system limitations, the designers still included sand traps, water hazards and trees to make your journey to the pin difficult. While this isn’t a realistic representation of the sport, it’s still worth a play as it has its own weird charm and challenge to it.

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