Page 61 - OSG Presents Classic Gamer Magazine #2

By
Megaforce...A Mega Farce! Chris Lion
Megaforce...A Mega Farce!
Megaforce...A Mega Farce!

It was 1982 VERY thin and Unfortunately, this was the be-
and my good the pants were ginning of synergy, where a movie
friend Roxy and I VERY tight. At gets tied in with anything and eve-
went off to see the one point, dur- rything remotely associated. Long
most highly antici- ing an unneces- since lost is my Ace Hunter action
pated film of the sary side silhou- figure (with tight pants and ‘blow-
week: Megaforce. ette shot, I don’t dry grip’). Tragically, the video
We were espe- think anyone in game version of Megaforce sur-
cially interested the theatre vives to this day. Unlike the instant
because that great could have told gratification of the 90s, it took a full
new show Enter- you what the six months after the movie was re-
tainment Tonight scene was leased for the game to appear on
had just shown an about. . .‘it’ was the shelves (and stay there until
“in depth” piece on how the US downright hypnotic! We just kept shoved onto the discount racks). I
Army actually went out to the set to staring and saying, “What’s he got think the game is just about as ex-
inspect the vehicles used in the in there, a potato?” citing as the movie itself, without
film, to make sure the filmmakers And what of the “military se- the overacting and blow-dried hair.
were not giving away any of our crets” that the US government was Thankfully, the videogame contains
“military secrets” to the “commies.” so worried about? Slapping pieces no kissing of thumbs or silhouettes
For those of you who don’t remem- of plastic onto a dirt bike and hav- of Barry Bostwick in tight pants.
ber the 80s, the commies were our ing it spew out colored smoke, Eventually, Roxy’s mom got
enemies, Nancy Reagan was does not a military weapon make. over her fear of Barry Bostwick and
president, and the pop group Span- Suddenly I learned what the term bought the game for her “totally
dau Ballet was popular (along with “publicity” really meant: bold face awesome Atari 2600.” (Note: eve-
a host of other mostly forgotten lying. Roxy tried, but she could rything in the 80s was either
bands). never convince me that dirt bikes “totally” or “awesome.” Putting the
Upon returning to Roxy’s house, with little plastic shields that fired two together indicated that it was of
her mother (still playing Super rockets while spewing multi-colored the highest quality). Even back
Breakout after 8 consecutive smoke, then inexplicitly sprouting then, with my limited hand eye co-
hours) asked us how we enjoyed wings and flying, could be even a ordination, I played the game in a
the movie. Roxy summed it all up remote possibility. totally awesome man-
when she said, “Boy, they sure And no, I’m not kidding. ner.
wore tight pants!” Roxy was sum- Barry Bostwick couldn’t Recently, I found a
marily sent to her room, and I was get work for years after “Mega Force” cartridge.
told to go home and not to take this film and Khambatta Yes, it even spells the
Roxy to any more “pornographic continued on to make name wrong. . .maybe
movies.” some of the biggest they wanted to discern
If only Megaforce were porno- pieces of crap in cine- the game from the
graphic, it might have been saved. matic history. Apparently, movie. There may be a
The plot, if one could call it that, Bruce Willis wanted her number of people out
was to save the world from Barry for Hudson Hawke, but there with a fear of see-
Bostwick’s tight pants, blow-dried she was busy dooming ing Barry Bostwick in
hair, plus, his weird kissing of his another project to obscu- skin-tight pants, or pos-
thumb and then waving it towards rity and had to decline. sibly Khambatta’s ‘box
Zara (played by Persis Khambatta, Amazingly, the director, Hal office poison’ might also infect the
who took bad acting to a whole Needham (“Stroker Ace” (1983), videogame, and this was a way of
new level). “Cannonball Run I & II” (1981, somehow alleviating those fears of
It was just SO darn awful. Ace 1984), and the BMX classic potential players.
Hunter (Bostwick) is the leader of a “Rad” (1986) actually continues to The object of this game is to de-
spandex-wearing group of interna- get directing work. Apparently, stroy the enemy’s desert “town,”
tional mercenaries. Barry was pacts with the devil do exist. while protecting my own desert

Classic Gamer Magazine Winter 2000 61