Page 31 - OSG Presents Classic Gamer Magazine #5

horsefly shooting orange snotballs out
henever I'm in the company of of its nose. Mmmm, tasty. Why didn't
W Atari 2600 fanatics, there's one they show a big silver horsefly gnawing
comment I seem to inevitably make on a cinder block? That would've been
that will enrage them quicker than you more in keeping with Yars’ oral fixation!
can say "Tramiel." I voiced my objections to this game
"You know, I've always thought so often back in Ye Olden Days, Roger
Yars' Revenge kinda sucked," I'll opine once gave me a can of Raid with a la-
amidst gasps and swoons from my fel- bel reading "YARS REPELLENT" he
low classic gamers. Sometimes one of had pasted on it.
them will be so overcome with fury he'll I eventually found out how the game
actually faint. got its name. As I hear it, Howard Scott
Usually when I make this blasphe- Warshaw - the creator/programmer of
mous observation, the gathered Yars' Revenge - took the first name of
masses scream "Heretic!" and try to Ray Kassar, CEO of Atari at the time,
stone me to death using their spare and spelled it backwards. Back then, I
Combat and E.T. carts. (And let me tell felt somewhat insulted by this simplistic
you, those blunt plastic corners can method of naming a game. I felt he
leave a heck of a welt.) could've just brought his hand down on
Don't get me wrong. I don't have an the keyboard and came up with a bet-
insect prejudice. Heck, some of my fa- ter one.
vorite Atari 2600 games are insect Let's see: "Tdnivfjn's Revenge." Hmm, I
games! I love Activision's Spider like it.
Fighter. I enjoy Atari's Centipede. I'll Now, I'm not trying to hammer Mr.
even fire up Data Age's Bugs on rare Warshaw. I personally think the man's
occasion when I'm either bored or in- a game-designing genius. Raiders of
credibly drunk. But Yars' Revenge the Lost Ark is one of my favorite
leaves me cold. games and, God help me, I even love
No, make that frigid. E.T., another one of his programming
Although I feel like an infidel with my miracles. Although I don't like Yars' Re-
dislike of a game that seems to be so venge, I can certainly appreciate the
popular with - well - EVERYBODY, I have to steer the flying bug around, time and effort it took in coming up with
have a very good reason why I've see?" Roger helpfully pointed out. a game with a completely original
never grown fond of Yars' Revenge. It's "Now, you can either shoot through the storyline and gameplay never before
because, well, I just don't get it. Just as shield or you can eat the bricks away." seen in another game at that time.
I don't understand the appeal of "The Yars’ Revenge isn't a bad game. I'm
Tom Green Show," I can't grasp why "Eat the bricks?" I asked. "How come?" not saying it is. I'm just saying that it's
everybody - why ANYBODY - would not my cup of Earl Grey, is all.
enjoy this game. "You just can," Roger answered. "Now I realize that I'm in a class of one as
They say first impressions are im- then, see the floating dot? That will de- far as Yars' Revenge is concerned. I'm
portant ones. Perhaps that's where it stroy you if you run into it. But you can forever being accused of suffering from
all went wrong for me. I remember my hide in the force field in the center of massive head trauma every time I
first experience with Yars. My pal the screen." sneer at the silver bluebottle fly. I can
Roger and I used to trade Atari carts honestly say that I've never met an-
the way kids today trade Pokémon "Why is it there?" I other person who dislikes this game.
cards. Well, one asked. I also realize the popularity of Yars’
weekend Roger Revenge cannot be denied. Yars' Re-
invited me over to "It just is," he an- venge has appeared in Read-Along
his house to play swered. Books, on lunchboxes, in comic books,
the latest game and on other forms of collectible
he'd picked up. I was already begin- memorabilia. The game even recently
"Wait 'till you ning to hate this. made a comeback of sorts when an
see this," he said adaptation by Telegames appeared on
as he plugged the "Once you eat through the Game Boy Color.
cart in. the shield, you can Impressive stats for a snotball-firing,
The first thing I shoot the cannon. But brick-eating, pinwheel-dodging house-
was treated to was watch out, it shoots fly.
a horrific buzzing pinwheels. That's
static coming from about it!" Roger fin-
his television. ished.
"Hey Rog, your
TV speaker's "Uh-huh, right," I said
busted," I pointed as I went home to
out. That was when play my umpteenth
he told me that I game of Frogger.
was listening to the
underlying sound Even the cart's la-
for the entire game. bel was a big turn-off
"OK, so you for me - a big silver

Classic Gamer Magazine December 2000 31