Page 48 - OSG Presents Classic Gamer Magazine #2

Do Movies and Videogames create
an unholy mix?

By Damien Quicksilver
Well, here’s the “movie” issue of house. This creates a total lack of con- say, to hell with
Classic Gamer Magazine. I guess the tinuity, such that any hope of enjoying text! It’s dull and
focus is the blissful union between the movie is crushed. flat! Braille is in
movies and video games. Wait a min- Did you know that Street Fighter 3-D! And it’s been around for YEARS!
ute! BLISSFUL UNION? Generally, I’d (the game) inspired Street That’s right, we’ve got all the ideas
say that movies and video games are Fighter: The Movie, which in turn in- and motivation to make this mag some-
like oil and water - they don’t quite mix. spired Street Fighter: The Movie (the thing special. So move aside! CGM’s
No, that’s not right. They’re like ammo- game). It could go on forever! The gonna 187 the competition like Chris
nia and bleach - they mix, but it’ll KILL game-movie-game-movie-game! Peo- Lion’s Super Breakout high score! But
YOU. No, that’s not it either. They’re ple won’t know whether they’re holding I’m not stopping at 9/10! We don’t pub-
like your genitals mixed with a blender, a joystick or a ticket stub! lish 9/10 of a magazine! I don’t write
ARRRGGHH!! I’m done ranting about movies. . .did 9/10 of an article! Could you imagine
Have you ever played Back to the the rant go well? that? If someone only wrote 9/10 of an
Future on the NES? That game is a Anyway, before I go, I have to talk article! I mean, the article could end up
tragedy. If aliens came to Earth and about the last issue. getting cut off, right in the middle of a
the first thing they saw was that video That letter about Pong was neat. It
game, they would not hesitate to de- got me thinking; games haven’t really
stroy our pathetic planet. ever gotten better than Pong, have
How about games turned into mov- they? Have you ever played that old
ies? Have you seen that Mortal Kom- computer game “Neuromancer”? In it,
bat movie? It is one of the most AW- there were these “Monks of Pong” who
FUL movies I’ve seen in my LIFE! And dedicated their entire lives to the mys- CGM
what about its SEQUEL? tery that is Pong.
I remember reading an article in I was think-
Video Games and Computer Entertain- ing the writer of
ment quite a while ago. It explained the Pong letter
that no one was out to get the rights to could be one of
produce the “Gorillas in the Mist” game those fellows. I
just to make a Donkey Kong rip-off. hope so. I want
Ever since reading that, I’ve wondered, to join the
”Why the hell not?!” because taking a Monks of Pong!
time-tried game concept and adding You know
some movie elements to it works a what really both-
LOT better than making a game that ers me? The
attempts to follow the concept of a fraction bit! And
movie. Movies and video games are we’re aiming for
just two totally different entities. Look 9/10? I’m going
at the games you like and look at the higher than that!
ones you don’t. When a game is I say 11/10!
based on a movie, use Damien’s Theo- These new
rem: magazines
The amount a game is like its movie TALK 3-D, but
counterpart is inversely proportional to the pages are
the amount of fun the game is. still dull, boring
Try to make something both a video 2-D. I say each
game and a movie and you know what page needs
you get? Night Trap! Have you ever THREE sides!
played that piece of crap game? No? I’ve submitted
Good. Yes? I’m sorry. If you are unfa- my prototype
miliar with Night Trap, someone de- where the
cided to make a movie-game. You pages look
watch a movie, and push the button something like
at the right time to trap monsters. triangular
Sound like fun? It’s not. And to prisms. But
make matters worse, in order to know they probably
when to trap the monsters, you have to won’t listen to
CONSTANTLY switch between cam- me. After all, I’m
eras filming different parts of the just a writer. I
Classic Gamer Magazine Winter 2000 48