Page 30 - OSG Presents Classic Gamer Magazine #2

M*A*S*H

Join the zany antics of the gang from the 4077th
M*A*S*H, as they fly helicopters and rescue wounded
from the battlefield while avoiding artillery fire!
Ok, I admit this game has very little to do with either
the movie or television show of the same name, but it’s
not too bad either. In one of the games, you race your
helicopter against another in a bid to pick up the
wounded.
Another option has you rescuing paratroopers before
they get blown to meaty bits (similar in style to
Kaboom!). The third game lets you play doctor by giv-
ing you the chance to remove shrapnel from a patient
who, graphics wise, appears to have more severe
problems than that. This will remind you heavily of the
board game you played as a kid - “Operation.” Come
to think of it, that guy was quite disturbing looking, as
well.

Overall Rating: B-

Porky’s

First off, and this is important, there are no graphi-
cally nude high school girls in locker room showers
located anywhere within the game. There is a pathetic
attempt at one, but don’t get excited about it.
Second, don’t attempt to play this game without the
instructions. You’ll either just sit in frustration saying,
“what the hell?” or worse, you’ll give up and go watch
the movie that inspired it instead.
Ok, now if you still want to play the game, the ob-
ject is to run across a highway and then blow up
Porky’s Bar. The part that makes no sense is that if
you get hit by a car on the highway, you get knocked
into a swamp. The only way out is to use the pole
vault and collect four bricks in order to build a ladder.
This is extremely time consuming, and the problem will
almost certainly resurface the next time you try to
cross the highway.
You’ll find that the instruction manual is far more
entertaining as it contains sexual overtones, which
have nothing to do with the game. So, “latch on” to it.

Overall Rating: C -
Texas Chainsaw Massacre

This is a groundbreaking parent “freak out” game
brought to you by the fine folks at Wizard. Not only is
the game violent like its sister game, “Halloween,” but
this time you get to play the bad guy, Leatherface.
Just because it’s based on the movie of the same
name, don’t be fooled into thinking it’s good. In fact,
it’s quite poor. Take Leatherface on a countryside run
to enjoy the fresh air while he rips people to shreds
with his chainsaw. You may as well take a chainsaw
to your money if you buy this game.

Overall Rating: D
Classic Gamer Magazine Winter 2000 30