Page 31 - OSG Presents Classic Gamer Magazine #2

" "Joysticks" lushi. back room of the arcade. The man-

Joysticks"
Review by Kyle Snyder However, most of the charac- ager engages in a game of "strip
ters personify horrible clichés, such video" with two of the more annoy-
One of the things the 80s was as the studly guy who manages the ing female patrons, and of course
infamous for was the glut of teen arcade, yet has a bizarre phobia the girls lose. Would you have it
sex comedies across the movie about actually playing the games. any other way? The game used in
screens of America. This trend be- Then there are the two idiot cous- this scene is an obscure Japanese
gan in 1978 with ins who carry out import (look at the goofy cabinet)
"Animal House," all of Mr.Rutter’s called "Streaking," where the object
and continued with dirty work. They appears to be to shed clothes while
films such as make Darryl and avoiding the police, and eating
1981's "Porky's" Darryl from dots. (Hmmmmmmm. . .)
and 1984's "Newhart" appear On a scale of one to five, I'd rate
"Revenge of the Shakespearian this a 2. It's excellent if you want a
Nerds." Now, for by comparison! trip down memory lane to the ar-
each of these well And the worst cades of yesteryear, but if you’re
written classics, character, by far, looking for good writing and acting,
there were at least is King Vidiot, an look elsewhere. I'd recommend
ten poorly written, 80's punk to the "Ghostbusters"!
cheesy attempts at Nth degree who
the genre that went has four mindless “The Wizard”
“The Wiza
rd”
straight to video or cable TV. Re- drone gals constantly following him
member "Malibu Bikini Shop" or around. King Vidiot enters into a Review by Chris Cavanaugh
"Spring Break"? Of course you deal with Rutter to defeat the best
don't. You probably don't remem- player at the arcade and win a real I’m under the impression that
ber "Joysticks" either. arcade game of this movie was not made for
"Joysticks" opened in the sum- his own. Of an audience of 32-year-olds.
mer of 1982 with tepid box office course, K.V. I never saw it when it was
sales and has since been slum- loses. Would you originally released, although I
ming around the wee morning have it any other doubt it was made for 22
hours of non-network TV, and way? year olds either.
USA's "UP All Night." Now for the If you enjoy watching two-
The story has some promise. most important hour Nintendo commercials,
An influential businessman wants critique, historical then this movie might be
to shut down the local game room, accuracy. The ar- your cup of tea. You defi-
claiming video games contribute to cade looks ex- nitely have to hand it to Nin-
the immorality and poisoning of our actly like one of tendo. This flick was basi-
youth. The teens fight back in town those little game cally one giant NES adver-
hall, bringing forth photos of the rooms that tisement (consoles, games
businessman involved in question- sprouted up in and peripherals!). Universal,
able acts, and eventually every- parking lots eve- recognizing a good thing
thing gets settled. The kids win. rywhere, com- when they see it, decides to
The arcade stays open. plete with neon cash in on this ploy by pro-
There are a few likeable charac- lights, dark walls, moting its studio tour as well.
ters, such as Eugene, the kind- and rotating stop- These aren’t subtle ads,
hearted nerd who endures a few lights. It has a small snack bar, and folks. These are point blank,
humiliating pranks in the first few nearly every popular game was punch you in the nose and kick you
minutes but later becomes an inte- present. Pac Man, Defender, Aster- in your joystick sales proclama-
gral part of the gang. There is also oids, Centipede, and Gorf are all tions.
Patsy, the sweet valley girl, who is very visible in the background, and There is somewhat of a plot in-
cursed to be the daughter of the even some dark horse hits like Car- volving Corey (Fred Savage) taking
businessman, Joseph Rutter. And nival and Zarzon can be seen. The his partially autistic half-brother,
for all his disgusting slobbishness, most interesting game has to be Jimmy, out of a Utah institution to
"Dorfus" is this movie's John Be- the maze chase game shown in the go on a trek to California. It seems

Classic Gamer Magazine Winter 2000 31