Page 11 - OSG Presents Classic Gamer Magazine #5

you to be destroyed.
Even when all your Guzzlers
have been beaten, don't walk
away from the machine just yet.
Tehkan has graciously provided
a way for you to get back in the
action without investing another
dd. That's the word; the word are reduced to soggy embers. So why quarter. A "wheel of fortune" decorated
that perfectly sums up are these beasts so plentiful? Oh yes, the with one guzzler and several fire beasts
Tehkan's Guzzler, a 1983 four fires. Line Guzzler up and begins to spin. The object is to hit the fire
O ry into the “cute” genre of SPLOOOOOSH!!! He successfully puts button to slow the wheel down, leaving
ent
arcade games. It's a maze game, but out one of the four fires. But now Guzzler Guzzler highlighted in the window at the
one quite unlike the myriad of Pac-Man is dangerously low on water again, and bottom of the wheel when it finally stops.
clones that populated game rooms dur- OH NO! He just got ambushed by a fire But this is no showcase showdown. You
ing this era. It's more of a Wizard of Wor beast. At least he has two lives remain- only have ONE chance to score the Guz-
style contest with a much more bizarre ing. zler and win an extra life to play where
scenario. And so the game contin- you left off. It's the trickiest and most
Guzzler ues. Guzzler roams the clever part of the game, and it's a sur-
puts you in the mazes, which will contain prise that parent groups didn't try to ban
role of "the fewer and fewer walls as Guzzler based on its obvious support of
guzzler," a the screens advance. gambling and alcohol. I mean, OUR KIDS
small, blue, Eventually, the maze is MIGHT BE TEMPTED TO GAMBLE AND
animated replaced with an open play- DRINK! GOTTA GET RID OF GUZZLER!
water jug. Per- field, which makes safe And while we’re at it, let's get that Mortal
haps a distant maneuvering nearly impos- Kombat game out of here too. Little
relation to the sible. You must extinguish Johnny was just practicing how to rip
Kool Aid Man? the first group of fire somebody's spine out! But I digress...
This guzzler beasts, then douse the four Guzzler was licensed to Centuri for
has found him- source flames, one by one, manufacture by Tehkan, and it was one
self in a very until peace is restored to of the earliest kit games. A few Guzzler
hostile place the maze. machines were released, but the vast
filled with Guzzler borrows from bulk of Guzzlers were conversion kits for
maze walls immediate cute predeces- older games. The one I used to play had
and fire sors, Burgertime and Mr.Do been a Phoenix in another life. Guzzler
beasts. The by introducing a "prize" that was never ported to any classic home
fire beasts appears in the center of the game system, but had the crash of '84
originate from four flame sources situated level from time to time. In this case, a been a myth, I could easily see this game
at various places throughout the maze. martini glass (ahhhh... the days when you having been a hot seller for the Colecovi-
They appear in a variety of different could expose children to alcohol without sion, given Coleco's penchant for adapt-
shapes and colors, the most common fear of legal repercussion!). This cocktail ing overlooked arcade titles. Heck,
being the yellow species, which closely does more than just maybe the Guzzler
resembles the "will o' the wisps" found in add points to your himself could have
later screens of Donkey Kong; and the score; it significantly been in a variety of
red species, which sports blue shoes, reduces Guzzler's sequel and spin off
yellow hands, and malicious scowls. stress. No, No, No! titles... Guzzler's Cas-
How can they possibly expect little Not like that! You see, tle? Super Guzzler
Guzzler to survive in such a terrifying grabbing the drink Brothers? Guzzler's
place? Turns out our friend has one freezes all the fire Adventure? He was
clever trick up his sleeve. He can beasts, allowing you a certainly as cute as
expel water with enough force to com- few precious seconds Mr.Do, Mario, or
pletely extinguish any fire beasts caught to attack the immobi- Kirby.
in his path. Hurray! The fire beasts are no lized enemies. The I saw Guzzler only
more. But wait a second. OH NO! More beasts are still deadly once, in a long since
fire beasts! And did I forget to mention though, so step lively! defunct arcade across
that each time Guzzler expels water, he It is also important from Andrews Air
diminishes some of his life supply? As to note that the area Force Base in Mary-
Guzzler’s water level drops, we see his doused by your wa- land. It was the last in
body change from bright blue to a clear tery offense is directly a row of about 20
outline, indicating the well is dry. So what proportional to the games. All the Gala-
now? There are more fire beasts to be amount of water you gas, Centipedes, and
doused, but Guzzler has no more water carry. If you are at full Ms.Pac-mans were
to use in his defense! capacity, your water blast will last for a happily interacting with their customers,
Except... look around, and you’ll find few seconds, extending several but the Guzzler machine sat alone. I de-
that the maze looks like it’s just experi- body lengths of Guzzler, and safely cided to give it a try, and I found a com-
enced a brief April shower. Puddles of squelching any enemies that are close pelling game that I was hoping to see
various sizes are scattered throughout by. The closer you get to being empty, more often. Unfortunately, I never did,
the passageways. Hurry, rush Guzzler though, reduces the amount of distance and the game slipped quietly into arcade
over to a puddle! As Guzzler drinks, we the water blast covers, until you basi- obscurity. Perhaps my article will inspire
see his body change back to bright blue; cally... well... spit on your enemies with some of you to check it out on MAME, or
he is armed and ready to do battle! the last drops. It's still just as deadly to maybe even try to track down
SPLOOOOOSH!!!! Three fire beasts are the fire beasts, but you have to put your- an actual machine. Guzzler
drowned and washed away! self in a much more dangerous scenario, deserves that much.
SPLASHHHH!!!! Another two fire beasts as the beast has to be practically upon

Classic Gamer Magazine December 2000 11