Everyone knows that pumpkins are evil. It’s a well established fact. Put a pumpkin in a position of authority and it will definitely, 100% guaranteed, abuse its power. This is such a well known truth, that it’s baffling that the produce of the Salad Kingdom ever allowed a pumpkin to become Minister. Sadly, they did and now Princess Tomato has been kidnapped by the duplicitous gourd.
This is the basis of Princess Tomato in the Salad Kingdom. Released in Japan in 1984, and debuting seven years later on the Famicom in North America, Princess Tomato in the Salad Kingdom featured you playing as the noble Sir Cucumber. Your mission was to rescue Princess Tomato from Minister Pumpkin. King Broccoli, Princess Tomatoe’s father, has gone to that great crisper in the sky, dying from the grief of losing his daughter. You are joined on your quest by Percy, a baby who just happens to be a persimmon. You must also recover the “Royal Emblem” which has been stolen. This second mission was not present in the original version of the game, but was added in the Famicom version.
The game was a text based adventure, though the controls were altered when the game was ported to the NES. Instead of inputting text commands, you select from a series of options presented on the side of the screen. The game is not particularly difficult. Sir Cucumber can’t even die. In addition to solving puzzles, and finding your way through mazes, you’ll be called upon to battle in that oldest and fiercest of all contests: Rock, Paper, Scissors, or as it is known in the game, Finger Wars.
It’s an altogether charming game, though it drifts into odd territory at times. One scene in particular springs to mind in which Sir Cucumber spies a young, feminine orange in the shower. Seriously. That happens. Most importantly, it finally answers the age old question: What would the illegitimate love child of Veggie Tales and Dungeons & Dragons look like?
Until next time, I remain…
Just Another Geek in the Geek Kingdom